I like clarity.
There is something about sitting outside on a clear day that untangles the chatter in my head and my heart.
I breathe deeply. My thoughts begin to clear. My heart feels less muddled. Peace begins to set in. Clarity comes.
Clarity comes from the Latin word ‘claritas’ and it’s original meaning was ‘glory or divine splendor.’ No wonder I like the word.
Everyone Wants It
Often clients come to me searching for clarity—Clarity in calling, in relationships, in direction for the future.
So how do we ‘get’ clarity? Is it something to be ‘gotten’? And what is clarity anyway—- really? Dictionary.com defines it as: clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity.
Where do you need clarity in your life? In your work?
The opposite of clarity is confusion, clutter. When confusion and clutter begin to clear… there is space and that space is powerful. In that space… choices begin to appear. We begin to breathe deeper. Ambiguity shrinks. The waters of life become less murky.
I’m going to share one simple and ‘out of the box’ technique for getting clarity that I have found to be extremely effective— both for myself and for my clients. You probably won’t find it in the top 10 list in most books.
So what’s my secret?
Are you ready? It’s so simple and yet so hard.
Yep. That’s it. Forgiveness. Forgiving clears space.
Sometimes life is a bit like being at the bottom of a mineshaft with lots of debris and many potential chambers or pathways… It’s dark, ambiguous and very confusing as to which way to go. Often…I don’t even see the choices that are available to me. Forgiveness removes debris.
It’s crazy. When we start forgiving… we see even more forgiveness that is needed.
Maybe you don’t even know who or what you need to forgive. Maybe you do.
I often start with forgiving myself for not knowing which way to go.
Sometimes I need to forgive God for not making the path more clear. Let’s be honest here, God doesn’t need my forgiveness. God is perfect. But I’m not. My anger blocks my very necessary intimacy with my Father. Forgiveness clears the pathway.
Even more importantly— I need to accept the grace and forgiveness God has ALREADY granted me. This is sooo essential and it is a BIG debris remover.
Just the other day, my husband and I had dinner plans with some friends. I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting ready to go when my husband needed my help on with some wiring he was doing for a home improvement project (I do not advise this as it can be very stressful to your relationship). It didn’t go well. We got the job done, but let’s just say we had a communication breakdown. Dave was irritated, impatient and abrupt. I was hurt. We rushed out the door, frazzled and late. Now, I was the one that was angry! I knew if we didn’t deal with it, dinner with our friends wouldn’t be much fun as I’m not a very good actress. Once in the car, we talked it through…but I was having a hard time letting it go. Most of the way to the restaurant I made declarative statements about the things for which I was choosing to forgive. It helped! By the time we got to the restaurant we were able to laugh at ourselves and we had a great night.
Who do you need to forgive? Be specific. For what do you need to forgive them? For what do you need to forgive yourself? Where do you need to receive God’s forgiveness and grace?
Take the time… Write it down. Do it. You might just be amazed at the space it brings you and the clarity comes with it.
Coach Sue has been privileged to coach and teach in a variety of settings: one on one, couples, families, focus groups, and conferences. In her years as a coach, Sue has been told she is naturally gifted at partnering with people who want to grow, whether personally, relationally, professionally, or spiritually. Her warmth, acceptance, and authenticity allows you to relax and be yourself. Her discerning direction and non-judgmental support will help you uncover pitfalls or roadblocks from your past or present while inspiring new goals and pathways for the future. You can learn more about her here.